I’d like to tell you a story of something that happened to me a while ago. It was nothing uncommon or rare… I was simply cleaning my bathroom, and I broke the jar that held cotton balls.
With the shattering of glass falling silent, I stared at the broken remains of one of my favorite country store finds. I’d been wiping the jar off with a paper towel when everything but the lid slipped from my hands.
As a mom of three, it had been a crazy day already and when that jar hit the counter, flying into a thousand pieces across the tile floor, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t get angry. I couldn’t pick anything up. I just stood there—spent and exhausted—staring at shattered glass. I did what any completely overwhelmed and exhausted mamma might do, I locked the door, sank down on a portion of clean tile and with my cell phone beside me, turned on some music. Yep.
With the kids playing out in the living room, I sat there, unable to do one…more…thing. I couldn’t clean up one more mess. I just put my forehead to my knees and made myself breathe in and out.
This wasn’t going to beat me. But I just needed… a minute or two.
And perhaps it was the writer in me, but I was determined to find purpose in this moment. My favorite jar was gone, and I had to find a positive. It was just that kind of day. I really needed one. So as I stared at the shards upon shards, I thought about how that can be our lives sometimes. It can be our dreams. All our fragile hopes, shaped and molded so carefully, this little vessel that we polish and tend to yet in the blink of an eye, it can absolutely cease to be. Gone. Just like that. Right through our fingers.
—
I’ll tell you now that I wrote the above portion of this post months ago and never finished. I didn’t see the end, but something had me write those words down. I’d like to finish them now…
That jar I was talking about? It’s long gone. It’s in the same place as a few dreams of mine. Maybe you have a few dreams there too. But you know what? I still have the lid. It’s a small consolation, but I kept it on purpose. I see it on my dresser and it’s hope. It’s the reminder that even though life may change, new purposes can lie just around the corner. Plan B can be just around the corner.
I’ve had to discover a new purpose over the last several years as an author. I’ve had to discover my plan B and I wish I could say that it’s been easy, but it hasn’t. Part of me really wants to turn this post into a devotional. Some way you can apply it to your life, but all I can think of is the rest of the tale. My prayer is that living within it will be a dose of encouragement for you.
Over the last two…almost three years that shattered glass has symbolized to me my publishing career. This thing that I loved and strived for and tended to. That thing? It was gone. Just like that. And I had to sit down amidst the shattered glass and I had to take deep breaths. I cry as I write this, friends, because it’s an ache that doesn’t fade. But do you know what we can do in moments like those? We can stand up. We can brush ourselves off. And we can trust that the glass shattered because there’s meant to be another way. And that way is going to start with a journey of trust.
So I keep the lid — the piece that held on — as a reminder of that day when not everything broke. As a reminder that it’s why we get up and it’s why we keep going. My get-up-and-keep-going has been self publishing. It’s an amazing and exhausting, exciting and insanely intimidating road, but it’s the one that God has me walking down right now.
In two and a half weeks, I’ll be flying to Florida along with my mom. She’s going to be my date for the Christy awards. I have something-lovely to wear and she does too. “This Quiet Sky” is a finalist in the Young Adult category. They tell me it’s made history. I’m still coming to grips with this. That something so good could come from shattered glass. Oh how these tears still fall as I really pause to look at that.
To lace the moments together like beads on string and call it life. That the different pieces of it don’t often look the way we planned but it’s ours anyway. Today I’m thanking God for lessons that I might have missed had my life and my writing career gone as smoothly as I’d once hoped. Today I’m thanking God for brokenness and shattered glass because He shows…He shows…that good things can come of it.
Thank you for this, Joanne.
So so blessed to have you as a friend and writing mentor and so exceedingly happy to have gotten to watch you embrace authordom as beautifully as you have. 🙂
You are such a sweetheart, Rachelle, and I’m so grateful for you through and through! It’s been a blessing to ME to see you navigate new authorhood with such joy and thoughtfulness. Your smile is contagious.
Thank you so much for these words of encouragement. How did you know that just this last week my husband told me I need to get a full-time job and put aside the freelancing writing/editing? I am trying to remember God’s promises, that He has something better planned than what I have been trying to nurture along. But I’m so happy for your blessings! You have been faithful and have kept working hard. It is an honor just to be nominated, but I’m praying you get the award! Thanks again for sharing, Joanne.
Big hugs, Emily. He does have something good planned for you. I just know it. With three kids at home being homeschooled, I sometimes wonder where the time will ever come from to squeeze in some writing, but he truly does provide. If you end up getting that job, I hope He’ll just amaze you with how he can multiply your time and make those late-night or early-morning scribblings all the more richer!
Great post! I hope your trip goes well. i have loved all of your books and I am excited that This Quiet Sky has gotten noticed! I know i don’t know you personally but while i was on pinterest the other day i came across your pins and felt the need to pray for you. So from reader to author know you are thought about and prayed for!
Michelle, that absolutely brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for that. It means the world to me! I’m quite sure I felt that prayer. Know that I’m saying a prayer for you today as well.
The lid is God saying he’s got you covered. His love is Awewsome indeed. Blessings always, have a great time.
Oh my goodness, Donna, I love that! He DOES have us covered. 🙂 Thanks for sharing that!
This is just a beautifully, painful post, Joanne. The thing is, we’re so not alone living with shattered dreams. So many people do–probably all of us, honestly. And you bringing your own pain out of hiding has certainly brought comfort to a lot who’ve read this. Who will read this.
Thanks for being honest and open. And thanks to God for bringing new direction into your writing life, for letting you make that history. 🙂 I’m eager to here how This Quiet Sky does at the Christy’s.
We aren’t alone, are we? And those words…wow. Bringing the pain out of hiding. It’s been a long time coming for me. I can’t tell you how many blog posts I wrote and tucked away because of not know what to do or say. I found that I ended up making myself tongue tied in a way that had me not communicating the way I should. This post felt really freeing for that and your words here are such an encouragement!
That was an awesome post! Sometimes it’s just the smallest things that places a huge part of hope back into our lives. Thank you for sharing 😀 Congrats again! You deserve it 🙂
Jenna, what a joy to see your sweet face and to read your sweet comment! Thank you for that!
I’m so rejoicing with you at all God’s done through your brave perseverance and willingness to serve Him through your writing wherever He leads you, dear friend!
Amanda, you are the bravest of the brave and if I’ve learned anything over the last few years, it’s how much I admire you! It has me all the more honored that you keep hanging out with me in this place. It’s a gift to get to share it with you.
“Not everything broke”, I like that. In my world of work and care-giving, I don’t see the end, and sometimes the path can be so dark and lonely, because I don’t/won’t take the time to stop, lock the door, and listen to music!
Let God continue to lead you, to bless you. Your words, thoughts, the little glimpses into your heart, they encourage,strengthen and I pass them along as encouragement for others. So often it only takes that one word. I would so love a devotional from you. So, that is something else we can pray about! 🙂 Always, my prayers are with you. Wishing you the best on the Christy’s!
Melody, Isn’t that a nice picture to hold onto? I’m so glad that lid survived. 🙂
And what a dear you are. Thank you for all of this! I haven’t felt very equipped lately to pour much out…it seems like it has been on trial after another (I’ve spared everyone the tale of how my hard drive recently crashed taking alot of my work with it…we’re still waiting to see what will be rescued) But it’s all had me sort of keeping my own head above water and everyone’s kindness today has been such a reminder of how I love being able to connect with you all. Your hearts bless me!
This…Oh my goodness. Poignant and beautiful. Thank you for sharing it!
Why, thanks Jennifer! And I’ve enjoyed poking around your blog and learning more about your own writing journey. Blessings to you!
I remember that lovely jar and I ugly cried reading this, not because of the jar, but because I know so well what you mean by embracing its shattered pieces in your sweet home. Your sweet home where you raise those amazingly precious children who are a reflection of a beautiful heritage of wonderful people. And your sweet spirit fills that home, and goes out into the world in ways only God knows for now, but those who love you feel and benefit from every day. Every time you speak or reach out in words spoken or written, we see Jesus. Whatever He’s doing in your life, we praise Him, even the pieces that look like diamonds broken for Him who loves you, and Who loves each of us. Great big hugs, my friend and sister in Christ. Keep the faith, because we all have faith in you.
Beverly, that is so sweet of you. Goodness! As a mom, I’m sure you’ve been there and as a writer, I know you’ve been there in many ways all around. This journey isn’t for the faint of heart, is it? Wishing good things for you and your new book! I’m hoping to get my copy tonight!!
Hey Miss Joanne! 🙂 I haven’t been able to visit your blog for awhile now, but I’m so happy I did today. God’s been guiding me through some hard character lessons, and teaching me to open myself to new possibilities He may have for me in the future {Change, Ah!}…but I know in my heart there is still that broken feeling deep down where I don’t want anyone to see. But I see all those crushed dreams and the anger and bitterness that has been carried around for too long. I can’t tell you all the reasons why, but I feel God used your post to help me with those broken pieces just a little bit more today. That I don’t have to stay broken, and just like your jar lid, it’s not ALL broken. 😉 So thank you for sharing your heart, again. I’m so SUPER excited and happy to see all that God’s blessing you with! 😀 Every time I see you’ve published a new book I think to myself, “And God can do that God-thing in your life too, sweet-girl. So don’t doubt Him and keep trusting in who He is!” 🙂 {Hugs!!}
Rachel,
What a joy it is to see you! I got a notification for that sweet pin on pinterest and it gave me such a smile. 🙂
Thrilled that this post was an encouragement to you. It was one of those posts that I almost didn’t follow through with but reading all of your comments has me so glad that I finally did. Oh how we have those deep down broken bits that we don’t want anyone to see. It’s such a joy to think of this post helping in some way as you sift through those broken pieces. Know that I’m doing it myself on my end and that so many others are as well. God is good and He is so faithful and I’m encouraged by you and your sweet heart. I have no doubt that God has the most special things in store for you!!
Joann, that was so beautiful! It hit me in many ways. I remembered being a mom raising 4 children with very few beautiful things around me. My mom gave me a beautiful cut glass candy jar and I loved it. One day my partially autistic son climbed up on the counter and managed to break it. My one really nice thing I had out. I felt like you.
But the biggest thing that hit me with your beautiful post was my own walk. I spent some years writing – got discouraged and gave up learned how to paint and went into the business of being an artist. It all came tumbling down. (Robin Gunn’s story on one of those nights at Mt. Hermon was mine as well.) After losing all I went upstairs and sat down and wrote the first 168 pages of my novel in 10 nights. We ended up in an RV surviving and now I am coming to a close of editing this book, 4 years later.
I haven’t written on my blog for some time. You have inspired me.
I haven’t read that book yet, it is in the cue. But I know it will be full of heart and mercy that will always be who you are.
Can’t believe I typoed the e in your name. Guess that is why I am still editing!!!
Sandy, Thank you so much for sharing about your own writing journey. And wow… Robin’s talk at Mount Hermon was so amazing and to think of that being one of the moments that brought you clarity and even hope is wonderful to hear. This writing life isn’t easy is it? I find that so much of it is to grow us closer to the Lord and stronger in our faith. I’m thrilled to hear that you’ve had fresh inspiration in writing and am cheering you on!
Oh and not to worry! I find myself signing off on emails with only one “n” all the time and *I* should know better, LOL.
Joanne, this post is beautiful. I just found your site today. I’m certain it’s no accident that this is the current post on your blog. I may not choose the word “shattered” to describe my life right now, but several things feel out of place and unresolved. It’s a current of change taking place, making me uneasy. Your words have washed over me with “you are not alone.” One of my favorite messages to give and to hear. Thank you for this today.
Teresa, I know I said this once and I’ll say it again… it’s so nice meeting you! Your tweets brought me a big ol smile and I agree that it’s no accident at all. To know we’re not alone truly is one of the best messages. I’ve found that each of you has been a brick in strengthening me today and to think of me somehow being brick that played a role in strengthening you is all that I could ask for through this.
This was beautifully written. It almost made me cry! You have such a lovely way of expressing even difficult things. I sincerely hope This Quiet Sky wins a Christy award. It is such a poignant story. I also hope God keeps a way open for your work to be published. I want to keep adding to my Joanne Bischof collection.
Why thank you, Pam! That means a lot–all of it! I’ve found that rather often lately, words have been hard to find. Thank you for being such a sweet reminder as to why it’s always worth digging deeper to find them.
It’s taken me all day to come back here and get through all the comments.
Aww, sweet Joanne. You blow my mind with your writing skills, and your tenacity.
Only God knows if He let that little jar smash to pieces so that He could prepare the way for something so beautiful, René Lalique himself would gasp in awe.
I know that heartache can weigh a girl down. Oh, how well I know that…but you need to remember that your words have been what God uses to lift that weight off so many shoulders, you’ll only know how many when you meet the King.
One day, you will look back and that brokenness will seem so small. That perspective, too, I know to be true. But that doesn’t take the hurt away, does it? Go ahead and pound on God’s chest. He’s our Abba, our Daddy, and He can take all the shards we toss at Him, and make something even more lovely.
Enjoy the Christys and that time with your Mom.
Jennifer,
Your after-all-day visit means the world to me! They truly are going to bring tears to my eyes. Thank you for that. I’ve honestly been amazed at how this little post has brought about such an outpouring of hearts and for me to get to see into each of yours has me (as Teresa mentioned above) knowing that we’re not alone.
The brokenness really will seem small won’t it? I know that to be true in other areas of my life and He has his hand in this as well. I’m trusting with you that He has his hand in all that you are doing in and through your life, and your writing. May God bless you richly through the coming days and weeks as he shapes you to continue to bear His truth with your words. hugs!
Joanne, my sweet friend, I love this so much. Wish I were there to wrap you up in a big hug right now. I was shocked that your publisher (or any other publisher) wouldn’t want more after your wonderful Cadence of Grace series. But God’s ways are not ours, thank the Lord. He saw something extraordinary and beautiful in your future. Self-publishing suits you so well, and it doesn’t surprise me in the least that This Quiet Sky is making history and earning award attention. (I hope it wins, by the way.) God is working through you and your books and your journey. Keep the faith, sister. And cry those tears if you need to. They’re just as good as laughter in my book.
Hugs,
Andrea
Aw, thank you, Andrea! I love that — here’s to tears being just as good as laughter. 🙂
Traditional publishing truly does serve an important role for God’s kingdom and I’m so grateful that He has that tool to use for his glory. If He ever has me be a part of that again, I’ll know that it’s because He has something grand up his sleeve. As I think of your own writing and God’s plan unfolds for it, I have no doubt that He’s equipping you for the next season–whatever it may be. May you feel his blessings each step of the way. Thank you for the hug and I’m sending one right back.
Also thank you for being a part of the team that brought This Quiet Sky to life. I’ll be forever grateful for that!
It was truly my pleasure to help, Joanne.
Your comment comes at the perfect time, of course. I’m just getting back to my writing after many months off. I have a game plan, one I feel God has instilled in my for the time being, and the blessings you mentioned? Well, that is currently coming in the form of a new determination to do the grown-up things that will help me step into my future. Growing up is hard to do at any age, but I’m glad I’m making this progress.
Thanks so much for the hug back.
Blessed beyond words as I read this beautiful post. Dad and I were in an antique store a few days ago and guess what we bought you? A charming lidded glass jar that said “buy me for Jo”. Just maybe you could use it for your cotton? Anyway, just wanted to tell you that
Aw, how sweet! I’m excited to put some cotton in it! 😉 Miss you two and can’t wait to see you soon!
This post really touched me, dear Joanne – I felt your pain as I reflected on the times that my plans have been altered in the past. Yet, as I listen to my praise and worship music- while writing – I am reminded of the joy brought by those new plans He wrought in my life when I cried out for His help and guidance.
God is using you to touch so many people’s lives, Joanne – whether it be through traditional or self-publishing. There are advantages to both – possibly one of self-pub is the benefit of less time restraints and writing deadlines, thus providing more liberties in time spent with your family??
He has so many more beautiful plans in store for you – just keep seeking His guidance and you’ll always be just where you’re supposed to be for that period in your life. He will work all to your good – broken glass and all!!
Praying you receive the recognition deserved for your beautiful work – loved “This Quiet Sky” and can’t wait to read “To Get To You”!! Praying also for your future writing/publishing ventures.
Love and hugs!!
Bonnie – I love the way God speaks to us through worship music. Isn’t it an amazing thing?
Thank you for all of your encouragement and the prayers. They truly are such a boost to me. I hope that you are doing well and it’s been so beautiful to see how God has used you in His special way. Thanks for being YOU!
Joanne: I am sure and certain that you would prefer not to be the one writing of shattered dreams … and the lessons found there … hopes renewed … beauty amongst the shards …
But, oh my friend, how this post has your voice woven through it … and how it has God’s fingerprints all over it.
And how beautifully you’ve offered hope to so, so many.
Me included.
Beth – thank you for that! It’s seriously infused me with such hope and peace which is such a gift after a hefty dose of fretting over whether or not to post this. 🙂 Thank you for being such a lovey example of graceful authorhood AND for being one of the brave souls that came alongside TQS and me from the start!
This is beautiful, Joanne. This Quiet Sky is waiting for me on my Kindle, and I can’t wait to read it – this fruit of the brokenness that God brought into your life for good. Thanks for sharing your testimony of His “severe” grace – It was a blessing to my soul.
Hello, Alicia! So nice to get to visit with you like this. 🙂 I’m honored that TQS is on your to-be-read list and I so hope it is a blessing to you, and that it truly might be the fruit of the brokenness. Thank you for that word picture. It’s a beautiful one!
Thanks for sharing. I believe when we are broken, it is then God shapes our character. 🙂
So very true, Rebecca. Thanks for sharing that!
Joanne, you are a marvel to me. That you have been able to chase the beautiful flickering diamonds of your dreams…and watch them shatter at your feet…and still find something beautiful among the pieces. You are such an encouragement to everyone you come in contact with. I am beyond blessed to have met you and to be able to live life with you. You have taught, shown and helped me to search after the dreams God has put in my heart, but still be willing to let Him mold this heart of mine.
Our Savior is going to do amazing things with and through you, I’m just ecstatic to get to be there to see it!
And the fact that TQS made History? Pffft. I’m not surprised at all. 🙂 You had some amazing beta readers 🙂
Kara –
Haha! It had AMAZING beta readers!!! 😉 I couldn’t have asked for better.
And thank you, my sweet friend! It’s been so special getting to walk this road with you and share in the whole process. What a joy to see how your own stories are unfolding and how much heart and passion you pour into them. May God use them for his glory and bless you richly in the form of touched hearts from your readers!